Beware!!!

For those of you that like to exercise your right foot a little to hard whilst driving, click the link below....


http://www.garda.ie/sez/Speed_Enforcement_Zones.htm

Woman Pays Lawyer With Naked Dances!

A U.S. lawyer in Illinois was suspended for 15 months for arranging to have a female stripper client perform nude dances for him in exchange for credit on her legal fees. Scott Erwin represented the female client and several of her family members on several different types of cases. The two had mutually agreed that she perform nude dances for him in his office as a way to cut down on the legal fees. She claimed that on several occasions from February to June in 2002 she would go to his office, remove her clothing and dance for half-hour sessions. She also claimed that Erwin continued to go to Heartbreakers, where he would pay the $15 entrance fee but wouldn’t pay her for performing nude dances. Erwin credited her for $534, but she complained because her bill had reached $7,000…

Let’s hope this doesn’t give all lawyers a bad name!

I Got It!

I posted a few weeks back bemoaning the fact that I couldn't get Alphabeat's album 'This Is Alphabeat' in severalmusic stores that I had visited. Well, Zavvi in Liffey Valley saved my sanity and on saturday afternoon I finally got my copy. And I am happy to report that it didn't disappoint. Given that we're currently enjoying some sunny weather I advise you to get a copy for yourself and prepare to smile profusely:-) Just like that!

Lord knows I need it at the moment!

Andy

Why We Love Our Children.

1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. 'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil. 'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently. 'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise. 'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move'

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....' 'What?' 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?' 'No, You had your chance. Lights out.' Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....' 'WHAT?' 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??' ' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!' Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....' 'WHAT!' 'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?' The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?' The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.' A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: 'The big sissy.'

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?' The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'

7.. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....' His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?' The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.' 'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked 'Yes,' he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?' The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.' The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?' After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'


8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?' One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.' Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.' The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?' She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'

10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?' Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.' The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'

Oooh, Suits You!!!

Go Carol & Lorraine - How To Make Our Brollies Look Even Better!!!

Triple Decker Clue!

Okay, exclusively for yizzer bloggers....

Voices 1 & 3 are musicians.

Get to work!!!

Andy

Bug Pics - It's Been Ages

I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girrrls! It's Our Paddy's Song!

Point Proven! Paddy With Amy From The Irish School Of Motoring

Kylie From Boyle Sports

Blacktie's Craig With Our Lauren. Our Bags Are Much Nicer!

Chloe With Lauren

The Very Chatty Catherine From Bowls Pharmacy With Our Ladies Man!

Jenny And Some Loser With A Silly Hat:-)

Rebecca, Majella & Paddy

Now I know Why People Don't Buy CD's Anymore!

I love my music. In fact, it's the reason I got into radio. Not to be famous or because I enjoy the sound of my own voice - I love music and the idea of playing music on the radio and actually getting paid for doing it seemed too good to be true when I was growing up but apparently it was possible and here I am. Living proof that in these recession (allegedly) hit times that there's still a market for a music playing monkey on commercial radio:-)

I've never been one to get bogged down by labels or specific music genres, I genuinely love all types of music. It began in the early 80's with Depeche Mode, Human League, New Order and all those 'new romantic' bands, but I also liked rock like U2 and Queen. I couldn't understand why if you liked pop music you weren't credible or cool! In the late 80's when I progressed to secondary school the 'rockers' and 'cure heads' used to call me a 'queer' because I liked all the Stock Aiken And Waterman stuff i.e Rick Astley, Kylie and Mel & Kim. But I also liked The Cure and Iron Maiden and I was the first in school to discover bands like The Stone Roses and Happy Mondays. I just hated the fools that pretended to like the music just to fit in with the cool kids!

So, it's time I explained myself.... And no, I'm not about to come out of the closet!!!:-)

I'm sure you are familiar with the band Alphabeat, the Danish pop band with the girl and boy up front on vocals who bare a scary resemblance to the infamous Moors Murderers Ian Brady and Myra Hindley. Has anybody noticed the likeness? Not the most desirable of people to be likened to I'll admit but I'm sure that's where the similarities end. My gripe is that I have gone to 6 music shops in the last few weeks and not one of them had Alphabeat's album in stock! And I'm extremely pissed off! I hear so much whingeing and moaning from record companies of how their profits are down because of illegal downloading and here's me with cash in my pocket wanting to buy a cd and I can't get it!! WTF???

So download it I hear you say. Well call me old fashioned if you like but I prefer cd's to downloading. As a working club dj I find downloading very handy for picking up whatever tunes I need but when it comes to music that I like to listen to, I like to have the cd. I still love the thrill of going into a music shop, picking out a few albums and popping them into the car cd player or the sound system at home when I have the house to myself. I get cd's from some of the record companies but I firmly believe that you don't appreciate a cd unless you've physically handed over money for it and made the decision on your own to buy it, so as long as cd's are commercially available, I'll buy them.

So why is this happening? Why can you not got into your local music store and buy the latest releases anymore? In a year or two or even sooner will you be able to buy cd's at all from your local HMV or Golden Discs? I don't know about you but I would find that very sad indeed. I'm not being over dramatic here but I really think that an important part of music will die if that happens. And it's becoming increasingly likely if companies like EMI are putting their entire cd production future on one band - Coldplay. Depending on how well the latest Coldplay album does sales wise will determine whether or not EMI will continue to issue their artists music on cd - scary!

But, like me, if you can't physically buy the cd you want, you're going to get tired of constantly being told that it's not in stock, you're going to head straight home and log on to i.tunes or worse still one of those virus rampant illegal sites that the record companies and the agencies that collect royalties on behalf of artists demonize! So from where I'm sitting it would appear that the recorc companies are to blame for pushing consumers away from the conventional cd and into downloading. Perhaps their intention, I guess downloads cost them even less than it costs to produce a cd. No packaging or delivery costs for one and less tax to the government. In the same way that they weakened the quality of vinyl in the late 80's in order to push everybody into buying a cd player, it would appear that they are again manipulating the public. Isn't it ironic that the same record companies that tried to destroy vinyl are now trying to bring it back by issuing some of the top titles on vynl again! Too little too late guys!

I'm certainly not mourning the losses of the fatcat record companies! At one pointI was spending over a hundred pounds a week on music during the 90's! Nope, that wasn't a misprint! During the dance music boom of the 90's myself and many others spent our lives in a certain record shop called Abbey Discs on Liffey Street spending our hard earned money on vinyl and cd's - and we spent a lot! Now I'm not bitter, I really miss those days of getting in behind the counter and rummaging for tunes in the hope that I would pick up an exclusive that nobody else had. And because I spent so much Billy Murray, the shops proprietor, always looked after me. But if I sat down and totted up all the money I have spent on music since I started buying records at the age of 7, I'm pretty sure if I had the money in my hand now it would pay off my mortgage! Still, I couldn't put a price on the pleasure I have derived from building up a huge collection of music over the years. I just hope that my two sons get the same amount of joy from it as I have when I'm gone.

Anyway, the point is I still don't have a copy of Alphabeat's album! Perhaps a music shop worker will read this and get some copies in and save the day? I'll try once more this week and let you know how I get on.

It better be the best bloody album of the year after all this effort!:-)

Andy

Lighten Up Stan!

I hate sour grapes! Therefore when I saw the front page of yesterdays Sun newspaper where Steve Staunton refused to wish Giovanni Trappatoni and the Ireland football team luck in the fortcoming world cup qualifiers, I saw red.

Staunton's reign as Ireland manager will go down as possibly the biggest farce in Irish football history and he STILL refuses to admit fault for it! And to now deny his good wishes to the team and it's new manager won't help his cause one bit. Then again, he's had more mud slung at him over the last few years I doubt any of it sticks to him. Oh but he's not to blame!!!? Is he not now!!!!!!!!!!

Staunton was given the opportunity of a lifetime - to manage his country's national football team AND with NO previous management experience! It's not as if there was any shortage of interested applicants either and all had relevant experience, enough to justify getting an interview at least from the F.A.I. Instead, John Delaney decided to take a gamble on a rookie. Staunton wasn't without his achievements ; fondly remembered by Liverpool fans and a major player in the golden days of Big Jack's squad and into the McCarthy era, I'm sure Delaney was looking at his appointment through rose tinted spectacles with visions of headlines in the newspapers reading 'Delaney's Masterstroke' etc. I doubt J.D could bring himself to even cast a fleeting at the headlines in Stan's latter days as he passed the paper stand in his local Spar.

Masterstroke it was not and Delaney lived to tell the tale, or rather not as I doubt very much the Stan debacle figues much in his after dinner speeches. Whether his appointment of Trappatoni is the much sought after 'masterstroke' that he so needs to restore his much maligned reputation remains to be seen. We're about to find out though.

Anyway, I degress.....

Staunton bemoans the fact that Delaney "hung him out to dry" by giving him the opportunity to manage Ireland. He has some cheek! I wouldn't have a lot of time for Delaney and his methods but the fact that he gave Staunton the most important job in Irish football is admirable, especially given his lack of experience. It's high time he took responsibility for his failings and learnt from his mistakes. If he doesn't he'll be out of Leeds quicker than he can say "We play better in March" He should be aware that Leeds chairman Ken Bates doesn't suffer fools!

I hate to be going on about this as I had enough of the likes of the Evening Herald's Paul Hyland bleating on ad nausea about the whole sorry mess for months but yesterdays Story in The Sun touched a nerve.

You are still Irish, aren't you Stan? Then get behind your former team like the rest of us!

andyp@fm104.ie

Sad Day:-(

Why the 'Sad Day' in the subject of this post? I'll explain...

My wife went back to work today after being on maternity leave for the last 6 months, resulting in us putting our 5 and a half month little boy into our local creche..... and we're heartbroken.

I wasn't sure if Jen was going to go back to work after having Darragh in march, she had indicated that she didn't want to once she had given birth and that was fine with me. But, in these worrying times of uncertainty and with my job not exactly being the most secure in the world, she decided - with a heavy heart - to go back. We've been dreading this day for the last few weeks and it finally arrived this morning. And just after they left I arrived downstairs to the kitchen to find that Jen had forgotten to take Darragh's beloved Iggle Piggle teddy with her. Panic!!! Luckily I managed to catch her and pass on his best buddy - he wouldn't have been best pleased if Iggle wasn't coming along for the adventure:-)

To be honest, and I'm not being old fashioned here, I'm hoping that Jen will decide that she'd rather stay home with Darragh and pack in her job. She's taken so well to motherhood and I know it's breaking her heart to be leaving him for so long during the day. And if you're a working parent I'm sure you know all about creche costs which are almost like a second mortgage!

I'll let you know how things went tomorrow:-)

Andy