And I Always Thought That Bono Had A Sense Of Humour....

This taken from that weekly newsletter of pure fantasy, Holy Moly.

A MOLE'S friend has found that one of the major drawbacks in working at the bar of the Clarence Hotel in Dublin is the fact that one of the owners occasionally drops in for a free drink and a chat with his staff. An even bigger drawback is the fact that Bono is that owner, dragging his tiny little legs up onto the high barstools and holding court while his minions hang on his every word with glazed eyes.

He joined 'his staff' one night over Christmas and declared himself the life and soul of the party, as a lock-in was declared after work. He regaled them with tales of feeding the poor, meeting various Popes and what to look for in a pair of sunglasses.

As the beer flowed, he began to gently rib a particular barman, an unassuming and shy Australian fellow who did his best to be polite and smile along with the jokes. As the banter grew more frenzied, Bono appeared to be recreating the scene with the shy barman from 'Goodfellas', the good-natured goading replaced by straight insults and poor imitations of the barman's accent.

Eventually the barman responded. "I've always thought that U2 were crap anyway," he said quietly, and while it was hardly the wittiest put down on the planet it had the desired effect; the other staff roared with laughter at the shy boy plucking up courage. Bono, however, was less amused. He sat quietly for a few moments (earning the whispered nickname 'Clarence Mouse'), and studied the contents of his glass before getting up and leaving the room without another word.